"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
