your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
