I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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