Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
