found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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