is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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