I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
