it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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