a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
