She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
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I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
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New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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