Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
