the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize