am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
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Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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