Christians are straight up FREAKS
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
