I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
