**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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