So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
