Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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