Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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