just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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