haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
look no pants
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
