wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
