You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
