I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
