All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
