Small penises have feelings too.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
