We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
