Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
