So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
