I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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