wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
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I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
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I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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