this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
