He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
