If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
