I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
