Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize