so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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