Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
