Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
