Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
