It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
