We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
