I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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