I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
