Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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