i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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