Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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