Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
