I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
