you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
