well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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