I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
