There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
