dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize