His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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