Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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