its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
