1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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