The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
where are my eyebrows?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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