and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
