I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
